Getting My Legs Back Under Me

A little over a year ago I had to say goodbye to my furry companion Bella, a large black Lab mix with a gentle soul and a need to be outside each and every day! Bella was my first Lab mix that ever liked water, so not only did we walk 3-4 times a day, but in the summer we had to get to Lake Superior for a quick dip. As a result, I was walking 12-15,000 steps a day which was certainly good for me. We went 365 days a year - hot or cold!



At the same time I lost Bella I also went through my cancer treatment (I am cancer free and doing well!) as well as leaving the congregation I served for 9 years and the house I loved. I was heading toward a sabbatical year, but things were not going as planned. As a result, my stride was thrown off and I have lived this past year feeling as if I was walking drunk - a little to the side, some backward and yet forward progress as well. I could not seem to find the right stride and I was unwilling to let go of the vision I had had of what the year was supposed to look like. As a result I had a great year but it wasn't what I expected and I didn't get done what I had promised myself I would do! That left me frustrated and unclear about moving forward.

Then one day a switch flipped with the help of some people in my life. First, I physically got my feet back under me by listening to the advice of my trainer, John. He has kept after me to not only work out but to eat better and to get walking. I finally did - by walking to my workout! It's about 1.2 miles and with every step I loosen up my body and my mind. It feels good to walk again and I have continued to do so even on the days I don't work out by walking to the park close to my house and enjoying my time outside. I find I need that as much as the walking.

Just recently, as I was given the new assignment to pastor at Faith United Methodist Church in Eyota, MN, I had an epiphany with the help of my life coach. I was lamenting the end of my sabbatical before it was really over and thinking I needed more time. As she asked me questions I realized I had been stuck - stuck with the vision I had created for myself, not with the reality. The reality is that I was causing my own frustration because I didn't stop to realize that I am happier than I have been in years! I am looking forward to meeting the people of the Faith UMC and getting to know the area, I have had an unbelievably wonderful year with my family and friends, and I am feeling healthy and ready for whatever lies ahead.

I just had to LET GO! Let go of what should have been and embrace what has been and what will be. I now have my feet firmly beneath me once again. I don't have the answers of what all the future will hold, and I still have lots to do (like finishing my next book!) but My legs are beneath me, they are strong, and they are ready to walk into my future. It feels good to let go, as it frees me to enjoy NOW. I can't ask for more than that.

When Opportunity Knocks

There are so many kinds of opportunities around us. What we see as opportunities depends upon our interests, our dreams and our commitments.  Sometimes we work hard for opportunities and other times they can fall into our laps.  They can be big or small, scary or easy, but when opportunity knocks are your ready?

I find that I am always interested in opportunities and I tend to leap at them before I look! One such leap found me this week being the guest Chaplain at the Minnesota Senate giving the opening prayer! When I was given the opportunity by Rev. Mary Kitchell at Silver Lake United Methodist Church to sign up for the chance to do this, I didn't hesitate because I knew it would be a great experience.

That was months ago, and I heard nothing until last week. I then received a phone call asking if I was available to present the opening prayer this week.  Again, leaping I immediately agreed and I was so excited about doing this! I believe in the work of our government and this would be a time to merge my interest with my work.

Everything was great until the night before I was to give the prayer. Then the reality of what I had agreed to suddenly hit me! I would be in front of the senators - I needed a prayer that would be applicable to all faiths and I would have to look my best so there was no distraction from what I was to do.  That's when all the self-doubts hit - what in the world was I thinking? I don't have anything to wear, I don't know what to say and I hate walking into these kinds of situations alone.  But there was no backing out.

I had invited my niece to attend earlier in the day but she had another appointment. So, at 9 p.m. I texted my sister Robyn and thankfully she was able to accompany me so at least I didn't have to feel so alone. (She got the royal treatment so it was a good day for us both!) Pulling myself together I finished the prayer, got dressed and headed to the capitol.

What followed was one of the highlights of my year! I hadn't been in the capitol since its remodel so we walked around seeing the stunning architecture which helped to calm the nerves.



Finally, I entered the Senate chamber and was greeted by the Sargent-at-Arms and taken to the front where I was given instruction about the timing of my prayer and the protocol for the beginning of the day.  I sat for a bit in the retiring room where I was greeted by all who saw me.  I then had my photo taken with Sen. Chuck Wiger who represents my area before getting ready to pray.

When the time came I was ready and my nerves gone.  After all, I do know how to pray! I prayed with a sure voice, shook hands with the President of the Senate, and said goodbye to Sen. Wiger. For all of it's one minute in length the prayer gave me inspiration and a sense of awe. What things can happen when we open ourselves to opportunities!

When I was done with my work I felt invigorated, and I was ready to try another adventure. Each time I take an opportunity and complete it I feel more complete and less doubting of who I am as a person.  That feeling returns soon enough but  as long as I keep taking advantage of opportunities I continue to grow and continue to get the best of life I can.

If you haven't tried leaping in a while, I recommend it!

End of My Odyssey

I forgot to tell you about the end of my trip! The final mileage total was 5,777 miles, 14 states,  11 national parks or monuments!  Not to mention the family and friends with whom I spent quality time. I cannot remember an experience that was so fun and fulfilling.

Some people can't imagine driving all of that time alone, but I love driving by myself. I get to enjoy the countryside, stop when I see a site or want to take a photo, and I get time to just be.  I don't think as much as you would suspect, but I just let myself enjoy the wind through the windows, the varied countryside around me, and the beautiful spring flowers everywhere! My three-week odyssey was truly one of the best experiences of my life.

What was most precious to me was the ability to reconnect with friends and spend time with family.  In this day when we keep in contact with people by email, text, Instagram, etc. there is still something overwhelmingly wonderful about connecting in person.  Especially with people I get to see so rarely. It's a window into their lives, and I feel so blessed to have reconnected with my friends.  I also loved seeing my niece and nephew and family in their own space - how their lives are actually lived, not just when on vacation.  It gave me a much better context for them so that my long-distance communications mean that much more.

Would I do it again? Absolutely! I wish I could have stayed the road for weeks more.  As it was, I had to cut out seeing some of my friends, so they are first on the list for the next trip!

How is it to be home? That is great as well (except for the unpacking which I just finished today!). It feels good to see my family and friends here and to be able to share my adventures with them.  We are a global community and I feel as if I just plugged myself back in to those with whom I stayed. Many thanks to all of them for their hospitality, my birthday celebrations and being willing to share their time and their lives with me!





     

Resurrection and Renewal

Yesterday was Easter Sunday and as always it was a day of remembering, of celebrating resurrection and of feeling the renewal. This came from a day filled with inspiration and joy, and the hope that comes during this time of Easter and spring.

My day began at Silver Lake United Methodist Church where resurrection joy was celebrated as the story of the women coming to the empty tomb was read and discussed by Pastor Mary.  Why do we, as the women did, look for the living among the dead? This does not only apply to Jesus after his resurrection, but it is a strong metaphor for when we are brought low we sometimes look for our answers in the past, which is gone, instead of in the present moment or the future hope.  We need to look for living in the living moment!

Easter always brings me renewal through music and this year was no exception.  From the first hymn of "Christ the Lord is Risen Today" to the choir anthem to joining the choir at the end of the service to sing the "Hallelujah Chorus" I am swept away by joy and hope of the day. Being surrounded by people who also feel this renewal adds to the inspiration of the moment and the reminder that we can start again each day. That applies to our faith life, our family life, our work life.  The past cannot be changed but resurrection reminds us that we can try again, we can be risen to new awareness, we can keep working toward life abundant.

Whew! And that was just the beginning of the day.  After church I went home to help my sister Susan get the meal ready for the family, as I had volunteered us to host! There would be 16 people, including my friend Maralee who is part of the family as well, and we had been working for days to get everything put together. My special job was making popovers! A little surprise to the menu of lamb, ham, shrimp, potatoes, all kinds of veggies, etc. If cooking and making a meal special shows love, then Susan and I showed all we had!

I am always inspired when I am around my nieces and nephews and grand-nieces, and Easter was no exception. They live such different lives, and to hear about what they are doing and who they are becoming reminds me that we are constantly renewed over our lifetime.  Nothing is static - and what fun would it be if it was? The grand-nieces had fun with the egg hunt and exploring the house, while the adults came together to talk, to laugh, to remember shared experiences, and to make new ones.

Being a single person with no children is sometimes over whelming to me, but not on Easter. The sun was out, I was surrounded by the people who matter most to me, and I felt uplifted, inspired and renewed! The love that surrounded me was that of family, friends and faith, and I feel that again I am lifted from darkness into all of the hope and possibilities of the light.  Resurrection indeed!

Even at this time of joy and hope we paused in church and at home to grieve with the people of Sri Lanka who had their world torn apart by the bombings across the country during the Easter celebration. For them resurrection may be harder to find right away, but hope is a little spark that will grow as they grieve, their faith with them.  So, even Easter can be a time of loss and distress.

But for me this Easter has been filled with renewal and resurrection. I see the plants pushing through to seek the sunlight, and I have hope. I HAVE HOPE!

Lessons from a Waterfall

As I make my way home, I take with me an abundance of memories, new experiences and the joy of connection with family and friends. But my greatest lessons came from the waterfalls! All through the journey water and waterfalls have been my companions, especially here in North Carolina.

My niece and I journeyed to several western NC waterfalls over my time here, and it was especially interesting to me to watch their transformation after a huge rainstorm.  It reminded me of how we go through life - always beautiful but sometimes we are just a trickle when we don't have enough nourishment, and when our Hearst, souls and bodies are filled we run full and resplendent. But even waterfalls can get too much of a good thing, and the waters get angry and filled with runoff from other streams.

Isn't that like life? Here is Whitewater Falls before and after a huge rainstorm:










No matter whether the waterfall is basking in a sunny day or whether its experiencing the deluge of a rainstorm, it is still beautiful, majestic and still the waterfall.  And so are we! Whether we are feeling great and experiencing the sunshine in our lives, or we are experiencing challenges, grief or even distress, we are still beautiful and still ourselves.

We need to take a lesson from the waterfalls and remember that life ebbs and flows.  How things are today does not reflect how they may be tomorrow.  We need to remember who we are and whose we are, whether in sunlight or in the rain and keep running, keep working toward being the wonder of who we are. Nothing can change that unless we are not nourished. Then we too become a trickle of ourselves.

So keep nourishing yourself. That's the one thing a waterfall cannot do - it has no control over the sun and the rain - but we can. Nourish your mind with new experiences, nourish your heart with love and joy, nourish your body with good food and exercise, and nourish your soul with a full and rich faith life. Then you too will be able to weather any storm and continue to flow until the sun comes out once again.

Week 2

I meant to write blogs all this week but I was in places without Internet connection and frankly I was enjoying catching up with old friends!  I am now in North Carolina visiting my niece, and soon will be heading toward home.

What a week it has been! I have visited friends from college, from the time Michael worked for an oil company, and a friend I haven't seen in 12 years from when I was trying to write my second novel! Everyone has opened their homes to me and I feel so grateful to have reconnected in person with them.

From Houston I traveled to Austin, Texas right through the heart of Bluebonnet country and it was bluebonnet season. What a sight be behold. My friend and I took a day to go out to the Lyndon Johnson Ranch NP where we saw more flowers, cattle and even bison as well as the late president's ranch.  I truly am a national park GEEK! Every park and monument is so well done so people can learn and experience many different aspects of our country.

From Austin I went to Natchitoches, Louisiana! (It's pronounced Nak-a-tish). My friend has a wonderful home outside the town where she lives with two dogs and a pig named Willow. It is a peaceful place and we spent time just catching up and discussing the world. She's had a hard year but has found a church family and is coming back into her own.  I felt so welcomed and cherished there. I also got to revisit Cane River Creole NP where I still might set another mystery!

Then it was on to North Carolina by way of national parks, monuments and parkways! In Louisiana I found Poverty Point (named after a plantation) that is another World Heritage Site and NP monument. Like Cahokia in Illinois, these are remains of a prehistoric settlement on the Mississippi, this time on the West Bank. It has ridges that can be seen from the air and mounds where some of the settlement was built.

I had a little trouble as I drove into Mississippi. I have a lot of memories of the years Michael and I lived in this state, and the last time I drove through was with my mom, so I found myself missing them both as I drove where we had been before.  But it was a beautiful, sunny day so I made the most of it by traveling on the Natchez Trace Parkway (NP) from Jackson to Tupelo.  This parkway goes along the same route as the road (called a trace) from 200 years ago from Natchez, Mississippi to Nashville, Tennessee.  Along the route is information about the road, the people and the trading that was facilitated by the route.  Very interesting and peaceful.

After spending the night in Huntsville, Alabama (I got to drive on some great country roads both in Mississippi and Alabama) I headed to the Great Smokey Mountains National Park.  What a place! Waterfalls and rivers, mountain views and wildflowers.  I came on this trip at the perfect time of the year to see wildflowers in blossom and to enjoy spring where you can still see the views before the tree leaves fill in.   about inspiration.  As I drove through the park I felt the water call to me, the flowers whisper, and the leaves draw me further into the mountain.  It was a joyous experience.

Then it was on to see my niece.  She lives on the top of a mountain not far from the park. My GPS, however, thought I needed more time on curvy, scary mountain roads, so it took me some back way up the mountain that my niece has never even heard of! Switchbacks at 10 mph with no guard rails and curves so tight I didn't think I could stay on the road.  Finally made it, but I was a wreck and it takes a lot to shake me about driving.  But it was worth it - my niece lives on a lovely ranch and it is great to spend time with her at her home.

The end of my journey is coming quickly, but I cannot express how wonderful this trip has been. It was what I needed when I needed it! My advice from this experience is to truly listen to your gut and heart and give yourself what you need, whether or not it scares you or doesn't seem as if it can work out.  Most things are possible!

My First Week

I am writing this post from Houston, Texas! My first week on the road has been full of adventures and  I am looking forward to what is next! Let me recap the week for you:

My sister Susan and dog Rutherford left North St. Paul last Friday morning at 600a. We drove through Iowa, a bit of Missouri, and on to Illinois just east of St. Louis. There we visited the Cahokia Mounds, what is left of the oldest city in North America! The people were of the Mississippian tribe and lived along the river. The site is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and it is wonderful. The museum gives vivid representations of life for the people who inhabited this area, and the grounds have many mounds, including Monk Mound, 100 feet tall, which you can climb the 130 steps to get to the top.  What can you see? Modern St. Louis including the arch off in the distance! I would encourage anyone who can to visit this historical site or at least learn about it online.

From the mounds we drove to Memphis and arrived at 1030p. We stayed at the Guest House at Graceland which is a 900-room hotel that is marvelous! Lots of restaurants, things to do, and impeccable service.  It is .2 miles from Graceland.  So, I visited Elvis' home on Saturday morning. It was an experience - I wonder what Elvis would think of how they have commercialized so much of his life! The tour of the house was interesting but what is most striking is the size of the rooms - they are fairly small. Of course Graceland was built in the 1930's so it was a different time.  It certainly is an explosion of textures and colors! I had my tour, so I don't need to go again.

We met up with my niece for dinner after some sightseeing and shopping, but the next big event was Sunday.  Susan's friend had a garden party at her home with 400 people in attendance! It was a social event and very well done. There was a jazz band, violins on the porch above people as they entered, lots of food and flowers. It was quite an event, and I am glad I got to be present.

On Monday morning Susan flew home, and the dog and I drove from Memphis to DeLand, Florida! It was a beautiful day and Rutherford travels well, so it wasn't a hard trip.  I got kind of misty-eyed going through Mississippi, and it brought back memories of living in that state with Michael. But soon we were in Alabama enjoying seeing another state! We spent most of the drive in Alabama, and when we hit Florida it started to rain. Even that wasn't too bad and we arrived at Rutherford's home.

So fun to see my nephew, niece and their 7-month old baby.  She is so sweet and fun, as are her parents! I was treated to a birthday cake, a little bottle of champagne, and a card that assured me I am already old so another birthday doesn't make a difference! It was so sweet of them, and we went out to dinner as well, but most of the time was playing with the baby and catching up.  They have a wonderful older home that I quite enjoyed, and I treasured my time there.  It was a little hard to say goodbye to the dog, as he had been living in Minnesota for 6 months, but he is home and happy.

On my birthday I traveled to Miramar Beach where my sister and brother-in-law have a wonderful winter home. Best birthday present - I got to play tennis for the first time in a decade and the courts are right outside of their home! I played twice in two days and even though I can hardly move, it was worth it. I love tennis! Down the hill from them is the beach, white sand and beautiful, so I made sure to get in a walk along the water.  We also had a birthday dinner and I feel quite spoiled!  We also played games and just relaxed which was great.

Today I left Miramar Beach and headed to Houston. Almost immediately after leaving big storms rolled through and I had to stop several times to wait out the rain.  That put me behind schedule, but I needed to stop at Dauphin Island. Michael and I went there with friends when we lived in Mississippi so it has fond memories, and the last time I was there was with my mother. I also started writing a story set there, so I wanted to see how it had changed in 30 years! There are lots more buildings on the island and many houses have been rebuilt because of hurricanes, so now it is a mix of old and new but still has kept its charm.  On the way back to the freeway I went past Bellingrath Gardens and stopped in.  It was past azalea time but still much to see including a snake in the path in front of me and one swimming in the pond! The walk was calming and the surroundings lovely.

I made one final detour after hitting Mississippi and that was to part of the Gulf Islands National Seashore.  It was a quick stop to see a section of bayou but I was rewarded with seeing a small alligator sunning himself on a log next to half a dozen turtles! All within a few feet of the road. I love seeing all of nature, from flowers to alligators, as I travel.

Now I am in Houston to see friends. I can't wait to see what the next week holds.  I have already drive 2800 miles!

Taking the first step, then the next, the next...

I don't know whether it's irony or something else, but when I planned out my sabbatical I was going to go around the world and learn about different ways of healing through different cultures and peoples.  I started my work on this while still working and asked people what they think of when they see or hear the word "healing". The answers ranged from getting better physically, to a spiritual wholeness, to something from a computer game.  I was looking forward to getting deeper into the subject.

What I hadn't anticipated was my cancer.  All of a sudden my year off became about my healing - physically, mentally and spiritually.  I went from a world view to a very personal view.  I am in my 9th month of my sabbatical and I have made progress with my healing but I am definitely not there yet.

The hardest for me is physical well being.  I am overweight and before this time off my exercise consisted of walking the dog and an occasional hike or yoga class.  So, I vowed that a big part of this year would be dedicated to my physical healing.  My cancer was under control except for the prevention medication which have given me bad side effects, so I am still wrangling with that, but I still needed to work on physical health in other areas.

They say the first step is the hardest and I think that is true.  My first step after moving back to the Twin Cities was to contact the personal trainer I had worked with 9 years previously. It was a hard call to make because I knew I was committing myself to weight lifting regularly and I was in no shape to be seen in tight clothes. I also had become uncoordinated and making a fool of myself doing this was always on my mind.

I swallowed my pride and went to see John.  Best decision I ever made! Here was someone who knew me and my health issues and also knows my capabilities so I can't get away with anything! I have been lifting weights 2-3 times a week since then, and my sister Robyn joins me on some days which makes me accountable to another person which I need to keep going. It's hard work and I am usually stiff when I get there but actually feel pretty good when I leave! Step one - check.

Step two is taking place on this trip.  As I journey and see family and friends I am keenly aware of how I look and how I wish I looked.  However, the next step has been to put aside this self criticism and embrace who I am right now, as I am, and not shy away from opportunities based upon my physical shape or whether I think I am in shape enough.

So far this has been tested twice. The first time was in Memphis when I accompanied my sister Susan to a big party celebrating one of her closest friends.  I had picked out a dress and shoes before I left but it showed some curves I shouldn't have! Still, I dressed to look good for me, fixed my hair and both of us went with heads held high, laughing at ourselves. Turns out we were not out of place in this large group and I even got a compliment on my dress! Funny what happens when you let go and don't worry.

The second time happened here in Miramar Beach, Florida. My sister and husband live here several months of the year, and where they live is in a tennis haven. Courts all around, groups to play in, friendly people.  Now, I LOVE playing tennis.  It's my sport of choice and I used to be fairly good at it, but I hadn't played in over a decade.  I brought my racquet and wanted to play, but I also didn't want to make a fool of myself or look terrible.  My legs are not only white white in color but they have eczema from winter on them so they are not pretty.

My decision was whether to play and get exercise and hopefully enjoy the sport I love, or to pass on the chance so I didn't have to feel uncomfortable. I chose to play and although I hate how I look in the pictures taken on the court, I am so glad I played! After some initial trouble finding the ball I got into the swing (ha,ha) of the game and didn't do too badly for a first time out.  I wore a sleeveless shirt so my arms showed and I wore a tennis skirt which showed my legs. But I was so comfortable and could play so it didn't matter.  We played two sets of doubles today and I know I have a long way to go, but I am thrilled to be back playing and intend to continue! If I hadn't taken the opportunity I would never have known how good it feels when I play.

So as I continue on my journey I have added a new way to work on my physical well being.  Of course the eating part is still an issue, but one step at a time, right?

To Plan or Not to Plan

Well, I am off and driving on my three week adventure! I will be visiting family and friends as well as having time to write and enjoy the wonders of the southern part of the U.S. This trip was high up on my list of things to do during my sabbatical year. I had hoped to do it much earlier but things conspired against me, so I was thrilled to finally be hitting the road.

I am not usually a big planner. My joy of trips is the trip itself, stopping at places that pop up along the route, meeting new people, enjoying the adventures I encounter.  Normally I would put little effort into the planning as long as I knew where I was going. But this time I thought I would do it differently. Since I was going for three weeks and wanting to see people I put time and effort into setting up the route, contacting friends and family and putting together a great trip.

Things came together nicely.  After my sabbatical year not going anywhere close to the way I had planned, at least this trip would be perfect.  I even spent time and money to ensure my Jeep Patriot would be ready to go - new brakes front and back, oil change, a new windshield due to a crack that appeared one day, and even getting a problem the car had had for years fixed. Bags almost packed, car ready...

Until the day before I was supposed to leave!  All of a sudden my car problem came back with a vengeance.  This problem makes the car not shift so all of a sudden it will hardly go. Not a small problem.  I lost my mind for a while when it was clear the problem wasn't going to go away. By the next morning I was so frustrated I couldn't think clearly. There was no way, after all that planning, I was not going on my trip!

I must admit I was not kind to the people around me who tried to help with the problem because I didn't want to budge on the plans I had made. Sorry!  After going round and round, I finally realized I had to decide what was more important - the trip as I had planned, or the money it would cost to rent a car.  I ended up renting a car from Alamo, and the great guy at the counter upgraded me, so I am now traveling in a Volkswagen Atlas which is an SUV and rides like a dream. My trip will go on as planned but with a lot less spending money!

Lesson learned - planning can only take you so far. The rest of the way to my dreams has to come from my ability to be resilient and find my way through the problem to a solution.  To do that I need to be clear on what I want to do and where I am going.

So, to plan or not to plan? A little bit of both, I say!

What A Difference A Year Makes

One year ago this week, after having a routine physical and mammogram I received the dreaded phone call from my doctor announcing that I had breast cancer. I knew it was possible as I had gone in for further tests, but I didn’t believe it would happen to me. No breast cancer in the family and I was getting ready to travel the world on my sabbatical to research what healing means!



But the call came and my life shifted in ways I never would have predicted. Now not only was I trying to get my house ready to sell and saying goodbye to the wonderful congregation at Hope UMC where I had been pastor for nine years, but I had to figure out how to deal with cancer!

Many members of the congregation had had cancer, several breast cancer, and they turned into my lifeline. The helped me to understand the process and gave me invaluable advice as I began the journey.  They continued to be my strength by accompanying me to radiation appointments and helping to lessen my work at church to help with the healing process.

My sister Susan was also my biggest lifeline. She came with me to all of my doctor appointments to be a second set of ears as we learned about the process.  She even took me to my lumpectomy surgery in a snowstorm and stayed with me through it all.

The biggest lesson I learned from having cancer is that you cannot beat it alone. It takes many people helping in all aspects of life to get one through to the other side.  From walking my dog to making me laugh to helping me know how to treat radiation burns the people in my life were and are invaluable. Even now I am still receiving love and support. The greatest group of professionals has to be the nurses in the oncology department and the radiation program. They also made this journey not only bearable but filled with laughter and support.

As I continue forward one year after my diagnosis and treatment it is my turn. I have friends who have recently received a cancer diagnosis and I hope I can be support and love as they begin their own journey. If you want to understand the web of life and how we are all connected just talk to someone who has had cancer. Bravest people you will ever meet!

Thanks to all of my supporters. You made my last year one of victory and the cancer journey bearable. Time to pay it forward.

Seeing Things from A Diiferent Point of View

My two weeks in Australia was wonderful! So much to see, people to meet, and family with whom I enjoyed the adventure.  But what struck me was seeing things from a different viewpoint.

Being in the southern hemisphere really does that! Not only was it full summer there, but as you traveled further NORTH the hotter it got! It was more moderate to the south, and that took a bit of getting used to.

Then there was looking at the night sky.  It was like being in another world! The stars were not even the same constellations for the most part and certainly there was nothing in their familiar places in the sky.  But just because they were different didn't make them any less breath-taking! In fact, it was awe-inspiring to look up and see things differently while still being on the same planet.

One of the other startling differences in Australia was the friendliness of the people.  Their assumption was always that we would be friendly and they could be at ease and even joke with people they just met.  There was little of the tenseness that we have in our country when we meet people we don't know, and it was startling and refreshing.  Even airport workers joked with us on the domestic flights!

Seeing the Great Barrier Reef from right above it as we snorkeled and soaring above the rain forest on the Sky Rail also gave new and exciting perspectives on this wondrous creation of Earth. What an experience!

And some things were the same - WiFi available, Uber as well as taxis in the cities, and sunny skies. Of course car travel was on the left side of the road which totally gives another perspective on driving through cities, but there was a feeling of being at home in Australia.

Seeing things from this new perspective reminds me that although we all live on the same planet there are many ways of experiencing the same life and the same creation.  I am reminded that while we are all children of God we have different ways of sharing our faith and seeing what God has created.  And, that gives me space to experience new things without being afraid of what it means. 

I hope you follow your opportunities to see things in new ways so you too can be opened to the new things God has in store!

Anticipation!

Any time I hear the word "anticipation" I think of the song by Carly Simon.  The line is       
                         "Anticipation Is makin' me late. Is keeping me waiting"

That's how anticipation feels to us, right?  We have to wait and wait and it's not always comfortable but sometimes it's exhilarating!  I am off to Australia in less than a week and my anticipation is growing with each item put on my "to do" list as well as for each time I look at pictures and can't wait to get there. 

Anticipation is a neutral - not only good or only bad - but the one thing it does in either case is get us going.  Here's two examples:

First, think about the anticipation of Christmas morning for a child (and many adults!).  Seeing presents under the tree and thinking about coming down in the morning to unwrap them. Anticipation is full of excitement and mystery and it sometimes keeps children from sleeping.  All of their attention and action is focused on getting downstairs to see what awaits them.

Our second example is this: the anticipation of a new administration and new president.  Don't groan, I know we are all being bombarded by this, but it is a great illustration!  Some citizens anticipate a new administration will bring a narrowing of who we are in the world and back peddling on civil rights and even unity.  But others anticipate the new administration will bring their voice to the forefront and will embody their views.  As you know, much of the focus in our country has been on what will happen with a new president.  The anticipation is causing some people to protest and some to celebrate. 

What's interesting is that in both examples anticipation brings us to ACTION! When we are happy and complacent there's no need to get moving, but when we are anticipating something, good or bad, our blood gets moving, we talk to others, we plan, we protest, we rejoice.  But we DO something.  Anticipation may keep us waiting for the outcome - the trip, the presents, the administrative action - but it also gets us up and out of our chairs and out into the world.

Next month Lent begins.  It is, for me, the anticipation of the reminder of Jesus' resurrection.  During that time of Lent the anticipation sends us out to Lenten studies, Taize services, serving our community, looking within ourselves.  It certainly causes us to take action.  Even if we don't have Lent as part of our tradition, this time before Easter is a time of anticipation, of action. 

I can't wait to go on my trip and see all of the new things in Australia and meet new people! I also can't wait for Easter for my trip through Lent will be filled with learning new things and working to deepen my relationship with God.  The anticipation is keeping me waiting - and I can't wait!!

Sun Shine

I don't know about where you are, but here in Duluth, Minnesota it is always a blessing to see the sun shine in the winter!  There's so little light in the day and when it's overcast it feels gloomy and you begin to feel as if there's nothing to do but go to bed.

Today the sun is shining and it's warm! It reminds me of when we let the light of God into our lives, when we take the time to feel the Son shine.  That light disperses the gloom in our souls and lets us reconnect with God and God's world. 

But when there is gloom in our minds and souls it's so easy to block out the light.  Just as we have curtains on the windows that we can pull to keep the light from entering and brightening up our home or office, we can pull curtains over our hearts that can keep God's love and light from entering in.  Those curtains are fear, hate, self-pity, to name just a couple of things.  And we can make those curtains thick or thin - to let in some or none of God's light.

Just like today, with the sun shining and reflecting off of the white snow, filling the world with light and heat, God also shines all around us whether we want God to or not! We have no control over that - the light of the world is with us no matter what.

So, it is up to us whether we let the light in - whether we put on sunglasses, pull the curtains, or stand basking in the light of God's world and God's love.  The choice is ours.  What do you choose?

Blessings,

Pastor Laurie

Contentment

I have been having a number of conversations recently about CONTENTMENT.  What does that mean? And, how does one experience it? 

The dictionary defines CONTENTMENT as: the state of being satisfied. Hmmm. What does that mean?  To be satisfied means to be well pleased or happy with something. 

I like that phrase "well pleased". It has been used in some of the Bible interpretations - God is well pleased with Jesus at his baptism to name one instance.  Well pleased. I think, as people of faith, we should be well pleased because God has taken away our fear of death, so each day should be filled with contentment, right?

There's a story about my grandmother.  Every day she would get up and open the front door.  No matter the weather - hot, cold, sunny, stormy - she would note that it was a beautiful morning! That is what I think of as contentment. Not having to delve into the weather report or have a discussion on global warming before taking a moment to enjoy the world and be well pleased to be alive!

However, if you're like me, contentment, being well-pleased, is not something that comes automatically.  I find I have to intentionally stop myself to note the beauty of my garden or the how pleased I feel as I write or how content I am with my friends.  If I don't stop (and smell the roses as singer Mac Davis once sang) I rush right by the wonders of this life into its problems.

And when I forget to see the beauty and the miracles and the love and laughter that surrounds me, I lose my perspective on life.   Do you ever feel that way? 

Life can get you down if you concentrate only on the negative and don't stop to see all of the wonder and beauty around.  There is so much with which to be well-pleased if we just stop and take note of it. But it has to be intentional.  It has to be something to build into your daily life so that it becomes part of who you are and how you live out a faithful life.

God is well-pleased with each of us - isn't it time we are well-pleased with this life we have?  May you find contentment this week and stop to let it sink into your soul!!

Blessings,

Laurie

The New Year

Happy 2017!  It's been quite a while since I have written on this blog but my New Year's resolution is to get back to it.  So, here we go!!

Another year another new leg of life's journey! Oh I know what you're thinking  - this is the same old journey, we've just turned the calendar page, but that's only true if you want it to be. What happens on your journey in 2017 is what you make of  the events and opportunities, the pain and the sadness.

The New Year may just be a date on a calendar but it can also be the beginning of a new adventure on your journey. In our faith lives it's always good to renew our covenant with God and with one another at least yearly.  It helps us to remember what our faith is all about and how we want to live it out.  

Last Sunday at Hope we participated in the Wesley covenant renewal service which makes one stop and really think about what it means to be a Christian and whether you are ready to place yourself in God's hands.  It was also a time of joy as we celebrated our community of faith and the promise that comes from the light of Jesus.

We also gave out jars (popular now on social media!) so congregations members and friends could begin to acknowledge the good things in life and revisit them next New Year's Eve at a minimum.  I think they will also be useful on days when one is sad or lonely - to be able to look at all of the awesome things that have happened! 

So, it's the beginning of January.  What are you going to do?  How will you approach this new year?  May it be with the faith of Jesus within you and the light of faith leading you all the way!!

One week Post-Surgery

I would never have believed I could feel this good only a week after having my hip replaced!  Oh, there have been big ups and downs and there is, of course, still pain medication involved, but overall I thank God to be sitting up in a chair having walked downstairs with only a cane!  The human body is truly miraculous.

I have leaned so many things over this past week.  I know I dislike hospitals not only because of a complete loss of control but also because I felt as if I would never be released!  Even with that I had wonderful care and I know without that I wouldn't be sitting here.  Nurses, aides, PT, OT people all have hard jobs listening to the pain and fear of their patients over and over again.  Thank all of you who do this work!!!!!

The main area of learning is my body.  What a wondrous creation it truly is.  All of the pain and anguish I felt in the hospital has already become fuzzy in my mind as it works to protect me from myself.  And each new day brings new information about how my body deals with pain, with pain medication, with recovery.  I cannot adequately describe the process but it reminds me of the first semester of seminary when all of our preconceived ideas about faith and religion were laid waste down to the foundation then built back from there.  With the surgery that is being laid to the core and my body is rebuilding its strength and operations from that moment of time when it was under anesthesia.

For instance, my sense of smell was thrown off from the anesthesia.  When I was in the hospital, any time a new person came into the room I felt nauseous!  And food was the worst!  When the food would come up I would take a sniff and I couldn't eat things I have always enjoyed because they didn't smell the way they were supposed to.  Even now I am still finding some things hard to eat because the smell and/or taste is not the same.

And luckily for me, while my body has been busy fighting for recovery I haven't had to deal with allergies!  I have been careful about what I eat as well so I get to have my own research of what happens to my system when I eat certain things.  Very interesting.  However, I do have to report that as of this morning my allergies have arisen - my right eye is almost swollen shut!  The bad news is I have no idea why.  The good news is that Bella was not the cause!

Most importantly I have learned how important it is to have good support for these medical journeys.  I would have been even more distressed in the hospital if my sisters Robyn and Susan had not taken 6-8 hours of their days to be with me.  And I would not be having such a smooth recovery without Robyn, Tom, Will and Lauren who have all been so wonderful to me as I upset their household!  Of course it's only fair for Will since he will be living with me Sept-Dec. as he finishes up at UMD.

And the support of all of my family, friends and brothers and sisters in Christ is overwhelming!  Thanks to you all for your cards, calls and visits.  My life is so full of love and blessings.  Thank God!

Into the Unknown

As I write this I am only a few days away form having my hip replaced - a surgery many of you may have already had!  But for me it's new and it's a bit scary as I have never spent a night in a hospital and have only had anesthesia on one other occasion so I don't know what lies ahead.  People tell me the surgery is a pretty easy one in comparison to others but all I know is that I don't know much about what's going to happen.

I am blessed to have so many faith friends as well as family who are walking this journey with me.  I do know that no matter what happens prayers will be with me and with the team operating on me.  The rest is in God's hands.  I thank you all for putting up with my pain, my inability to sit through meetings, dinners, etc. and I look forward to August when I can do those things again!

We all face these times when we look forward and it's a hole where we have no knowledge and no real idea of what to expect.  So, we rely on our experiences and the people around us to help that hole seem not so big or scary.  But sometimes our experience can hold us back.  In my case, I have known literally dozens of people who have had surgery over the past four years with no problem what so ever.  But my experience in my personal life is just the opposite - the person I loved dearly, my late husband, did not have a good surgical experience and never made it out of the hospital.  So, while my head tells me everything is going to be just fine, my heart contracts in fear about what could happen.

And so I do the only thing I can or should - I turn to God.  I have spent many hours praying about whether to have surgery, about my fears and about giving up my need to control the situation.  Each day I move closer to the surgery I give more and more of my thoughts and fears to God and I thank God for giving me so many people in my life who can show me the love and grace to get me through this time.

My life is full and my joy of living continues and I look forward to living even more fully when I don't have to think about my hip every moment of the day!  But most of all I thank God for yet another experience to enrich my life, to stretch my faith and to remember I am part of something so much bigger than just myself.

Blessings to you - I will update my blog when I am out of the hospital!

Why Hope?

At Hope UMC we are taking time to go through an update of our visioning process.  We have had two wonderful meetings with ideas and information that will help the Hope faith community to grow and to continue to reach out beyond the church.

Last night we watched a video by Simon Sinek about leadership that was profound - we need to tell people WHY we do what we do - WHY we are part of Hope and want others to be part of this community as well.
(If you would like to view the video the link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp0HIF3SfI4)

We came up with a draft of a WHY statement:
We believe that every person can have a personal relationship with God. 

But what do you think the WHY statement should be for Hope?  To give you another thought, another idea, I did some thinking and came up with my WHY statement:

What I want to add is another WHY statement – not about community, I realized, but about our world.  I come to church because I believe we can still make this world a better place for all.  I don’t have the right words for that because “saving” the world is language people don’t like.  But my WHY would be multi-level:

We believe that every person can have a personal relationship with God

We believe that this world can be a better place (can be saved, is still full of potential)

We believe in hope.

I would love for us to continue this discussion!!  What do you think?  What does our deep "WHY" look like to you?

Our next meeting will be on Monday, June 17th at 6:00 p.m. During this month  it would be great to hear your thoughts on this!

Pastor Laurie

A New Beginning

Happy Easter!  Christ is risen, indeed, and we now have new life, a new beginning with hope and without fear - a new way to lead our lives.  It is also my birthday today so as I enter into another year of this life I cannot help but think about how to live my life more faithfully and abundantly. Already this morning I have been out walking Bella (twice!) and I have had a rare opportunity stop and watch a pair of trumpeter swans playing in the open water on the lake near my sister's house.  In fact, there were so many birds it was hard to take them all in and I again marvel at God's creations.  The beautiful swans, the annoying honking Canada geese, the many varieties of ducks, all touched with the golden sunlight.  What a way to begin another wonderful day in this life!

But new beginnings are never easy.  Even as we plan to change the act of making changes and changing habits can be daunting.  That's where our faith and our faith community come in!  If we truly believe we have nothing to fear we can move ahead with less trepidation.  And if it's a helping hand we need to get us on the path or keep us moving through our new journey then we have our brothers and sisters at Hope to help.  A great example of that is our weight loss group.  We get together to hold one another accountable, to support the ups and downs of the weight loss program, and to provide ideas that might help others get past a road block.  New beginnings never have to be faced alone.

The life, death and resurrection of Jesus point to things beyond our understanding and give us hope for this life and beyond.  Our faith, if we let it, can keep us calm, move us forward and accept all of the wonderful opportunities this world presents to us.  It also keeps our head up and our feet moving forward even when life throws a curve and we have to face an unexpected tragedy, loss or some other problem.  So I invite you to keep moving, keep praying and above all, keep the faith!

Blessings,

Pastor Laurie

Happy Spring!

Well, here it is - yesterday was March 20th, the first day of spring and the vernal equinox!  It's hard to even think about spring when the snow is piled so high you can't see over it and more is predicted; when the temperature is still going close to or below zero at night; when your roof looks as if it will collapse from the weight of the ice; and when the windchill is so bad you have to wear a scarf just to walk!

But there is hope as well - from now on there will be more daylight than darkness each day until the autumnal equinox, the sun does in fact melt the snow and ice even if the temperature is not above freezing, you can walk at night until 8p (CDT) and still have some daylight lingering, and baseball season is about to start!

As we look toward Holy Week next week and Easter Sunday beyond we know that hope is where we are heading.  No matter how dark it has been, no matter how cold or snowy, the promise of Easter is the promise of new and renewed life.  That's what Jesus offers us - HOPE!  We can make it through the darkness and the bitterness, the enslavement and whatever the world has for us when we hold fast to the new life that Easter bring us.

I know we are all going a little stir-crazy with the weather and we want to quit shoveling the snow and just wait for the warmth to come and take away all of our problems - and that will happen on Easter!  The warmth of God's great gift in Jesus will break through the cold of our wilderness time and allow us to move forward if we have faith, or at least the hope of faith.\

Journey with me as we move from cold and dark to warmth and light during Holy Week.  There are so many ways to embrace this special time of the year with worship on Palm Sunday, Good Friday (noon) and Easter Sunday (8a and 10a).  There is the Maundy Thursday Seder meal and the opportunity of serving a meal at the CHUM drop-in center on Tuesday, March 26th.  And all week there are prayer stations at church to help you feel more deeply this holy time.

Join me as we go deep in the wilderness for one more week - only to come out into the light of Easter.

Blessings,

Pastor Laurie