Our Mortality

During the past 24 hours I have been confronted by the thought of death and its role in how I live my life.  Yesterday my sister, who is only a few years older than I, had a total hip replacement!  I know she will feel much, much better now but every time someone goes into surgery I feel the mortality of our human bodies.

That went double for this surgery because my sister had the surgery in the same hospital where my husband died 20 years ago.  Just when you think you are passed certain feelings they come rushing back - and I have had to work hard these past 24 hours to keep my anxiety in check and to remember that every person's situation is different.  Most of all I have been trying to keep my faith as the guiding influence as each day passes.

We are all wounded in some way or another in our lives and we have all been touched by death - whether directly or indirectly.  Today I spoke to a church member who was having some trouble physically and that triggered her to decide to complete her funeral planning! So we discussed the pros and cons of doing that at any age because we are all human, we are all going to die.  Having a plan in place for that time is one of the ways we can be comforted in our ongoing journey.

But the fact is we all must face our mortality and what the means in terms of our faith and how we live our lives.  Jesus tells us to live life abundantly and has given us the way to do just that by his victory over death.  If we have faith we don't have to fear our mortality because we know there is something more for us beyond death, and I find that to be a true comfort.

My loss of my husband at age 31 has left me living my life without the family I always thought I would have.  Still, it is a good life, just not the one I had envisioned for myself.  Death of someone we love may set us on a different course but we still have lots of life left to live and how we do that directly shows our faith.  I find myself not too consumed with the future because I am too busy living this day.  But when something like the surgery of a loved one arises I have to control that first reaction of panic, the anticipation of loss, and remember that I have a faith that allows me to get through even the toughest times.

When my husband died I had no understanding of my faith but as the years have gone by I have come to understand that my faith allows me to believe that everything works out - maybe not the way I want it to - but in a way that is meaningful.  I still believe people will do the right thing when push comes to shove even when I am proved wrong over and over.

No matter my mortality I believe - I believe people are basically good and I believe that God who created us all is still an integral part of my daily life.  I believe my mortality is just another step on my journey.  I believe I will get the chance to see all of my loved ones again in a different way and life through God.

I believe.