Friday, July 19, 2013

One week Post-Surgery

I would never have believed I could feel this good only a week after having my hip replaced!  Oh, there have been big ups and downs and there is, of course, still pain medication involved, but overall I thank God to be sitting up in a chair having walked downstairs with only a cane!  The human body is truly miraculous.

I have leaned so many things over this past week.  I know I dislike hospitals not only because of a complete loss of control but also because I felt as if I would never be released!  Even with that I had wonderful care and I know without that I wouldn't be sitting here.  Nurses, aides, PT, OT people all have hard jobs listening to the pain and fear of their patients over and over again.  Thank all of you who do this work!!!!!

The main area of learning is my body.  What a wondrous creation it truly is.  All of the pain and anguish I felt in the hospital has already become fuzzy in my mind as it works to protect me from myself.  And each new day brings new information about how my body deals with pain, with pain medication, with recovery.  I cannot adequately describe the process but it reminds me of the first semester of seminary when all of our preconceived ideas about faith and religion were laid waste down to the foundation then built back from there.  With the surgery that is being laid to the core and my body is rebuilding its strength and operations from that moment of time when it was under anesthesia.

For instance, my sense of smell was thrown off from the anesthesia.  When I was in the hospital, any time a new person came into the room I felt nauseous!  And food was the worst!  When the food would come up I would take a sniff and I couldn't eat things I have always enjoyed because they didn't smell the way they were supposed to.  Even now I am still finding some things hard to eat because the smell and/or taste is not the same.

And luckily for me, while my body has been busy fighting for recovery I haven't had to deal with allergies!  I have been careful about what I eat as well so I get to have my own research of what happens to my system when I eat certain things.  Very interesting.  However, I do have to report that as of this morning my allergies have arisen - my right eye is almost swollen shut!  The bad news is I have no idea why.  The good news is that Bella was not the cause!

Most importantly I have learned how important it is to have good support for these medical journeys.  I would have been even more distressed in the hospital if my sisters Robyn and Susan had not taken 6-8 hours of their days to be with me.  And I would not be having such a smooth recovery without Robyn, Tom, Will and Lauren who have all been so wonderful to me as I upset their household!  Of course it's only fair for Will since he will be living with me Sept-Dec. as he finishes up at UMD.

And the support of all of my family, friends and brothers and sisters in Christ is overwhelming!  Thanks to you all for your cards, calls and visits.  My life is so full of love and blessings.  Thank God!

Friday, July 5, 2013

Into the Unknown

As I write this I am only a few days away form having my hip replaced - a surgery many of you may have already had!  But for me it's new and it's a bit scary as I have never spent a night in a hospital and have only had anesthesia on one other occasion so I don't know what lies ahead.  People tell me the surgery is a pretty easy one in comparison to others but all I know is that I don't know much about what's going to happen.

I am blessed to have so many faith friends as well as family who are walking this journey with me.  I do know that no matter what happens prayers will be with me and with the team operating on me.  The rest is in God's hands.  I thank you all for putting up with my pain, my inability to sit through meetings, dinners, etc. and I look forward to August when I can do those things again!

We all face these times when we look forward and it's a hole where we have no knowledge and no real idea of what to expect.  So, we rely on our experiences and the people around us to help that hole seem not so big or scary.  But sometimes our experience can hold us back.  In my case, I have known literally dozens of people who have had surgery over the past four years with no problem what so ever.  But my experience in my personal life is just the opposite - the person I loved dearly, my late husband, did not have a good surgical experience and never made it out of the hospital.  So, while my head tells me everything is going to be just fine, my heart contracts in fear about what could happen.

And so I do the only thing I can or should - I turn to God.  I have spent many hours praying about whether to have surgery, about my fears and about giving up my need to control the situation.  Each day I move closer to the surgery I give more and more of my thoughts and fears to God and I thank God for giving me so many people in my life who can show me the love and grace to get me through this time.

My life is full and my joy of living continues and I look forward to living even more fully when I don't have to think about my hip every moment of the day!  But most of all I thank God for yet another experience to enrich my life, to stretch my faith and to remember I am part of something so much bigger than just myself.

Blessings to you - I will update my blog when I am out of the hospital!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Why Hope?

At Hope UMC we are taking time to go through an update of our visioning process.  We have had two wonderful meetings with ideas and information that will help the Hope faith community to grow and to continue to reach out beyond the church.

Last night we watched a video by Simon Sinek about leadership that was profound - we need to tell people WHY we do what we do - WHY we are part of Hope and want others to be part of this community as well.
(If you would like to view the video the link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp0HIF3SfI4)

We came up with a draft of a WHY statement:
We believe that every person can have a personal relationship with God. 

But what do you think the WHY statement should be for Hope?  To give you another thought, another idea, I did some thinking and came up with my WHY statement:


What I want to add is another WHY statement – not about community, I realized, but about our world.  I come to church because I believe we can still make this world a better place for all.  I don’t have the right words for that because “saving” the world is language people don’t like.  But my WHY would be multi-level:

We believe that every person can have a personal relationship with God
We believe that this world can be a better place (can be saved, is still full of potential)
We believe in hope.

I would love for us to continue this discussion!!  What do you think?  What does our deep "WHY" look like to you?

Our next meeting will be on Monday, June 17th at 6:00 p.m. During this month  it would be great to hear your thoughts on this!

Pastor Laurie

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

A New Beginning

Happy Easter!  Christ is risen, indeed, and we now have new life, a new beginning with hope and without fear - a new way to lead our lives.  It is also my birthday today so as I enter into another year of this life I cannot help but think about how to live my life more faithfully and abundantly. Already this morning I have been out walking Bella (twice!) and I have had a rare opportunity stop and watch a pair of trumpeter swans playing in the open water on the lake near my sister's house.  In fact, there were so many birds it was hard to take them all in and I again marvel at God's creations.  The beautiful swans, the annoying honking Canada geese, the many varieties of ducks, all touched with the golden sunlight.  What a way to begin another wonderful day in this life!

But new beginnings are never easy.  Even as we plan to change the act of making changes and changing habits can be daunting.  That's where our faith and our faith community come in!  If we truly believe we have nothing to fear we can move ahead with less trepidation.  And if it's a helping hand we need to get us on the path or keep us moving through our new journey then we have our brothers and sisters at Hope to help.  A great example of that is our weight loss group.  We get together to hold one another accountable, to support the ups and downs of the weight loss program, and to provide ideas that might help others get past a road block.  New beginnings never have to be faced alone.

The life, death and resurrection of Jesus point to things beyond our understanding and give us hope for this life and beyond.  Our faith, if we let it, can keep us calm, move us forward and accept all of the wonderful opportunities this world presents to us.  It also keeps our head up and our feet moving forward even when life throws a curve and we have to face an unexpected tragedy, loss or some other problem.  So I invite you to keep moving, keep praying and above all, keep the faith!

Blessings,

Pastor Laurie

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Happy Spring!

Well, here it is - yesterday was March 20th, the first day of spring and the vernal equinox!  It's hard to even think about spring when the snow is piled so high you can't see over it and more is predicted; when the temperature is still going close to or below zero at night; when your roof looks as if it will collapse from the weight of the ice; and when the windchill is so bad you have to wear a scarf just to walk!

But there is hope as well - from now on there will be more daylight than darkness each day until the autumnal equinox, the sun does in fact melt the snow and ice even if the temperature is not above freezing, you can walk at night until 8p (CDT) and still have some daylight lingering, and baseball season is about to start!

As we look toward Holy Week next week and Easter Sunday beyond we know that hope is where we are heading.  No matter how dark it has been, no matter how cold or snowy, the promise of Easter is the promise of new and renewed life.  That's what Jesus offers us - HOPE!  We can make it through the darkness and the bitterness, the enslavement and whatever the world has for us when we hold fast to the new life that Easter bring us.

I know we are all going a little stir-crazy with the weather and we want to quit shoveling the snow and just wait for the warmth to come and take away all of our problems - and that will happen on Easter!  The warmth of God's great gift in Jesus will break through the cold of our wilderness time and allow us to move forward if we have faith, or at least the hope of faith.\

Journey with me as we move from cold and dark to warmth and light during Holy Week.  There are so many ways to embrace this special time of the year with worship on Palm Sunday, Good Friday (noon) and Easter Sunday (8a and 10a).  There is the Maundy Thursday Seder meal and the opportunity of serving a meal at the CHUM drop-in center on Tuesday, March 26th.  And all week there are prayer stations at church to help you feel more deeply this holy time.

Join me as we go deep in the wilderness for one more week - only to come out into the light of Easter.

Blessings,

Pastor Laurie

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

In the Wilderness - Loving Our Neighbors

As I go through this wilderness time of Lent, I have made extra time to work on areas of faith that are hardest for me.  I have also included more time with God - more time spent in prayer, in supplication, in thanksgiving and in LISTENING so I can get closer to hearing what God is wanting from me and from my life.

One area which is a constant struggle for me, and I think for many of us, is that of loving our neighbor.  Last week I had an incident with someone living on the next block over from me, and as it happened I made sure I was intentional in my response.

Bella and I were walking down the sidewalk and Bella was not on her leash as it was morning and my hip was not working so well yet.  We came to a house by a wooded area and just below us in the backyard were three deer!  These deer live in the neighborhood so Bella and I run into them all of the time.  She has chased them, been nose to nose with them, and we have kept them from getting run over a few times.  So we know these deer.

Bella took off after them through the deep, deep snow so there was no chance she was even getting close but she was trespassing and I called her back immediately and put on her leash.  We were slowly continuing our walk when a man from a house on the opposite side of the street came running out, shouting and threatening me about what he would do if he ever caught me letting Bella chase those deer again!  In fact, he said it was against the law to chase deer and I needed to keep the dog on a leash and not get near those deer again.

As he was yelling I tried to control my reaction.  I wanted to say that I doubted there was a law against chasing deer and I wanted to tell him we interact with these deer all the time, but I didn't.  I realized what he needed was to say what he had to say, even if in the form of a threat, and he needed to have me acknowledge this was an issue for him.  And that's what I did.  I acknowledged that I had heard him and did not say anything in my defense.  After all he was right that Bella should have been on a leash, and for some reason these deer were a source of anxiety for him.  So, we went our way after letting him know he had been heard.

Of course I was still thinking about the incident later in the day, and I told a friend about what had happened. I acknowledged that it is hard to love my neighbors as myself but I thought I had been on the right track that morning.  My friend looked at me strangely.  He said he has always believed you have to like someone before you love them.  I then talked about Jesus asking us to love our neighbors as ourselves, treating people with respect whether we like the way they present themselves or no matter their beliefs.  My friend had trouble with that and I said - "well, what about your family? Do you like them first and then love them?" My friend looked stunned as he thought about that.

We are called to LOVE our neighbors, ie treat them with the respect we would want others to treat us.  That is what Jesus calls us to do as people of faith.  Even if the person is saying the opposite of what I believe I am called to love them and uphold their right to have an opinion different from mine.  That's part of the great diversity of God's creation, and in the wilderness it's a great thing to remember and to practice.

Blessings on your wilderness journey!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Beginning the Lenten Journey

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the 40 (plus) days of Lent.  It is a day of remembering that we are all human and will perish at some point, and from there trying again to lift our lives up to God's call and abundant living.

When he was in the wilderness for 40 days Jesus was tempted by the devil in many ways but he never took the bait, never acted out of character.  Jesus is the only one of us who can claim that!  We are bombarded by so many temptations every day of our lives and occasionally we all lose the battle and give in.  But it is how we react after that has happened that makes the difference!

As followers of Jesus who have faith in a merciful God we know we will fall along our journey.  But when that happens how we pick ourselves up and move forward is where we show our faith.  Whether we are tempted by things we know are not good for us or whether we are suffering from the loss of a loved one, we are still called to have faith - to move ahead in the knowledge that by living this life abundantly we continue to do God's work and bring about God's kingdom, and to move ahead without fear because there is something for us beyond this life.

How do we take the time to cleanse ourselves, or as I like to think of it, hit the reset button?  For many areas of our lives that is not possible, or at least instantly possible. But for our faith and for how we look at ourselves, our relationship with God and with one another, we can stop, take inventory of who we are and where we are going, and how we can be the people we want to be.  Psalm 51 is a favorite of mine - it is not cheery but it is a cry to start again, to be washed clean by God - and I think it is fitting for Ash Wednesday and I have included it below.

One of the ways people have participated in this time of introspection and cleansing is by giving something up for Lent - something they enjoy very much or something they cannot live without.  That is certainly one way to be reminded daily of the season.

However, at Hope several of our groups are taking the opposite approach - for Lent we are ADDING something to our lives!  Whether it is a different kind of praying daily, adding veggies to our meals, including service projects in our schedule, or adding a study, we will enhance our lives in ways we hope will bring us back into right relationship with God, with our neighbors and with ourselves.

However you mark this time of Lent, I hope you will stop and take a look at your faith and your life and make the changes you think God is calling you to make.  Lent is a time of reflection and introspection and renewal and rebirth.  Let us follow Jesus into the wilderness and come out as people of God!


51 1-3 Generous in love—God, give grace!
    Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record.
Scrub away my guilt, soak out my sins in your laundry.
I know how bad I’ve been;  my sins are staring me down.
4-6 You’re the One I’ve violated, and you’ve seen
    it all, seen the full extent of my evil.
You have all the facts before you; 
whatever you decide about me is fair.
I’ve been out of step with you for a long time,
    in the wrong since before I was born.
What you’re after is truth from the inside out.
    Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.
7-15 Soak me in your laundry and I’ll come out clean,
    scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life.
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
    set these once-broken bones to dancing.
Don’t look too close for blemishes, give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me, 
    shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Don’t throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me.
Bring me back from gray exile, put a fresh wind in my sails!
Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
    so the lost can find their way home.
Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,
    and I’ll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.
Unbutton my lips, dear God; I’ll let loose with your praise.
16-17 Going through the motions doesn’t please you,
    a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
    don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.
18-19 Make Zion the place you delight in,
    repair Jerusalem’s broken-down walls.
Then you’ll get real worship from us, acts of worship small and large,
Including all the bulls  they can heave onto your altar!

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Our Mortality

During the past 24 hours I have been confronted by the thought of death and its role in how I live my life.  Yesterday my sister, who is only a few years older than I, had a total hip replacement!  I know she will feel much, much better now but every time someone goes into surgery I feel the mortality of our human bodies.

That went double for this surgery because my sister had the surgery in the same hospital where my husband died 20 years ago.  Just when you think you are passed certain feelings they come rushing back - and I have had to work hard these past 24 hours to keep my anxiety in check and to remember that every person's situation is different.  Most of all I have been trying to keep my faith as the guiding influence as each day passes.

We are all wounded in some way or another in our lives and we have all been touched by death - whether directly or indirectly.  Today I spoke to a church member who was having some trouble physically and that triggered her to decide to complete her funeral planning! So we discussed the pros and cons of doing that at any age because we are all human, we are all going to die.  Having a plan in place for that time is one of the ways we can be comforted in our ongoing journey.

But the fact is we all must face our mortality and what the means in terms of our faith and how we live our lives.  Jesus tells us to live life abundantly and has given us the way to do just that by his victory over death.  If we have faith we don't have to fear our mortality because we know there is something more for us beyond death, and I find that to be a true comfort.

My loss of my husband at age 31 has left me living my life without the family I always thought I would have.  Still, it is a good life, just not the one I had envisioned for myself.  Death of someone we love may set us on a different course but we still have lots of life left to live and how we do that directly shows our faith.  I find myself not too consumed with the future because I am too busy living this day.  But when something like the surgery of a loved one arises I have to control that first reaction of panic, the anticipation of loss, and remember that I have a faith that allows me to get through even the toughest times.

When my husband died I had no understanding of my faith but as the years have gone by I have come to understand that my faith allows me to believe that everything works out - maybe not the way I want it to - but in a way that is meaningful.  I still believe people will do the right thing when push comes to shove even when I am proved wrong over and over.

No matter my mortality I believe - I believe people are basically good and I believe that God who created us all is still an integral part of my daily life.  I believe my mortality is just another step on my journey.  I believe I will get the chance to see all of my loved ones again in a different way and life through God.

I believe.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Contrasts

So, here it is, January in Duluth, Minnesota and we have had the coldest weather in 7 years with morning temperatures exceeding -20 (AIR TEMP!) on several occasions.  That kind of cold cements your eyelashes together from your own breath and leaves me wondering what in the world I am thinking to love winter!  The landscape is stark and it's hard to believe anything can thrive in this world of white and cold.

Contrast that with Africa - while some areas are experiencing their winter, others are in full summer and in high season for mosquitoes.  they are thriving and the female anopheles mosquito, which feeds at night, is continuing to spread malaria to unsuspecting people.  We don't really think about malaria anymore because it was eradicated in the U.S. years ago, but in Africa a child dies every 45 seconds from this disease, but only a short time ago it was every 30 seconds.  There is progress.

While we here in Duluth are in the deep freeze the families of impoverished Africa are fighting for their lives because of this mosquito.  Malaria is a both preventable and treatable but it is a disease of poverty that affects all aspects of life.

But now we are connected - those of us at Hope UMC in Duluth and those who are at risk for malaria in Africa.  We have joined our passion with the 11.5 million United Methodists worldwide to empower the continent of Africa to achieve a sustainable victory over malaria by 2015.  This ministry of care includes raising $75 million churchwide (over $2.5 million in Minnesota alone) to eliminate death and suffering of malaria.

Why does this matter to us?  When people are healthy they are more productive and can sustain their own lives and countries, so less aid is needed.  When people are healthy they can make choices for the future that they could not when malaria forced so much suffering and death.  And because Jesus calls us to help those in need, those suffering, those for whom the most basic need of life is not being met.

There the contrast ends.  Because both the people of Duluth and the people of Africa have compassion and the will to make a difference.  We come together because we understand we live in a world that has become a global community where when some of us suffer all of us suffer.

We sang it last week - "We are called to act with justice, we are called to love tenderly, we are called to serve one another, to walk humbly with God."

May you be warmed by the knowledge we are heeding God's call!

Friday, January 18, 2013

Embracing Our Differences

This weekend in the United Methodist Church is Human Relations Sunday and in our country it is the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday.  Both of these days are reminders for us of the complex nature of human relations and how easy it is to be afraid of people we don't know.

In this area there is no doubt that as followers of Jesus we are called to not take the easy path, but to forge new paths that lead to connection and understanding.  We are all afraid of what we do not know, but if all humankind are God's children, then we are called to understanding and love for one another, no matter whether we go to church, practice our faith on a trail up the North Shore or follow a different path all together.  Jesus spent much of his time on Earth with those who were on the margins of life, who lived differently, from what was perceived as the "norm".  He knew that to truly bring about peace and God's kingdom we would need to start by loving one another and building communities.

That means embracing our differences instead of being afraid of them!  Easy to write, not always so easy to do because that fear is on both sides of any meeting.  Think about that the next time you are unsure or afraid of interacting with a person or group who are very different from yourself - they too are probably feeling the same way!!!!!  When we take the time to understand one another or even to realize that we all have the same feelings we can more easily come together.  And when we come together we find our similarities and learn from our differences.

Just think - if we all had the same spiritual gifts how would we get everything done God wants us to do?  there would be no music if we were all preachers, no mission work if we were all administrators, no moments of inspiration or deep joy if we only looked for the process of faith and not the mystery.  Our differences make us each unique and make our community stronger, more loving and more giving.

I think of all of the people I know who create through sewing, quilting, art, knitting, writing, cooking, etc. If those creators didn't constantly use difference colors, fibers, ingredients, whatever, each creation would be much the same as the one before.  God used different ingredients for each one of us and look how colorful, unique and gift-filled we are!!!

Embracing our differences, embracing different lenses through which life is viewed, is what we are called to do.  God's kingdom is in the making and each time we embrace our differences, welcome those who we don't yet fully know or understand, we move that much closer to making that kingdom a reality.

So, I invite you to do something this weekend to embrace the differences around you - talk to a neighbor you have been avoiding, attend an event of an ethnic group you want to understand further, attend the MLK events to support and live into his legacy, whatever you can find.  Embracing our diversity is embracing God more fully!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy 2013!

Here it is - New Year's Day 2013!! I remember when I thought the year 2000 was so far away and here it is 13 years past that day.  Time does seem to speed up as we get older.

Do you have any resolutions?  We spoke in worship last Sunday about making the great resolution of shoring up the foundation of faith and we participated in part of the Wesleyan Covenant service.  It was meaningful to honor the past, take part in the present and have hope for the future!  To renew my covenant with God reminded me of what is truly important in life - my faith, my family, my friends and my neighbors.  So, I am hoping 2013 brings me closer to God and to all who I meet on my journey.

This Sunday is Epiphany and on that day we celebrate the magi's visit to see Jesus.  And we see that their lives were transformed by their experience of the Christ child.  So, as we begin 2013 let's resolve to make things different, to live our lives transformed by Jesus - by reorienting our priorities not to focus on ourselves, but on the radical love Jesus gives from us and asks in return.  Won't that be an adventure? 

I invite you to look back at the last year and see the road(s) you have taken.  Then look ahead and make a plan - how can my road lead me to spend more time with the people I love?  How can I demonstrate my faith through community and service?  How can I make my relationship with God even stronger?  Will it be the same road as last year or a different one?

Happy New Year!

Laurie