Into the Unknown

As I write this I am only a few days away form having my hip replaced - a surgery many of you may have already had!  But for me it's new and it's a bit scary as I have never spent a night in a hospital and have only had anesthesia on one other occasion so I don't know what lies ahead.  People tell me the surgery is a pretty easy one in comparison to others but all I know is that I don't know much about what's going to happen.

I am blessed to have so many faith friends as well as family who are walking this journey with me.  I do know that no matter what happens prayers will be with me and with the team operating on me.  The rest is in God's hands.  I thank you all for putting up with my pain, my inability to sit through meetings, dinners, etc. and I look forward to August when I can do those things again!

We all face these times when we look forward and it's a hole where we have no knowledge and no real idea of what to expect.  So, we rely on our experiences and the people around us to help that hole seem not so big or scary.  But sometimes our experience can hold us back.  In my case, I have known literally dozens of people who have had surgery over the past four years with no problem what so ever.  But my experience in my personal life is just the opposite - the person I loved dearly, my late husband, did not have a good surgical experience and never made it out of the hospital.  So, while my head tells me everything is going to be just fine, my heart contracts in fear about what could happen.

And so I do the only thing I can or should - I turn to God.  I have spent many hours praying about whether to have surgery, about my fears and about giving up my need to control the situation.  Each day I move closer to the surgery I give more and more of my thoughts and fears to God and I thank God for giving me so many people in my life who can show me the love and grace to get me through this time.

My life is full and my joy of living continues and I look forward to living even more fully when I don't have to think about my hip every moment of the day!  But most of all I thank God for yet another experience to enrich my life, to stretch my faith and to remember I am part of something so much bigger than just myself.

Blessings to you - I will update my blog when I am out of the hospital!