I forgot to tell you about the end of my trip! The final mileage total was 5,777 miles, 14 states, 11 national parks or monuments! Not to mention the family and friends with whom I spent quality time. I cannot remember an experience that was so fun and fulfilling.
Some people can't imagine driving all of that time alone, but I love driving by myself. I get to enjoy the countryside, stop when I see a site or want to take a photo, and I get time to just be. I don't think as much as you would suspect, but I just let myself enjoy the wind through the windows, the varied countryside around me, and the beautiful spring flowers everywhere! My three-week odyssey was truly one of the best experiences of my life.
What was most precious to me was the ability to reconnect with friends and spend time with family. In this day when we keep in contact with people by email, text, Instagram, etc. there is still something overwhelmingly wonderful about connecting in person. Especially with people I get to see so rarely. It's a window into their lives, and I feel so blessed to have reconnected with my friends. I also loved seeing my niece and nephew and family in their own space - how their lives are actually lived, not just when on vacation. It gave me a much better context for them so that my long-distance communications mean that much more.
Would I do it again? Absolutely! I wish I could have stayed the road for weeks more. As it was, I had to cut out seeing some of my friends, so they are first on the list for the next trip!
How is it to be home? That is great as well (except for the unpacking which I just finished today!). It feels good to see my family and friends here and to be able to share my adventures with them. We are a global community and I feel as if I just plugged myself back in to those with whom I stayed. Many thanks to all of them for their hospitality, my birthday celebrations and being willing to share their time and their lives with me!
Thoughts and adventures of Pastor Laurie Boche as she continues on her faith and life journey.
Tuesday, April 23, 2019
Resurrection and Renewal
Yesterday was Easter Sunday and as always it was a day of remembering, of celebrating resurrection and of feeling the renewal. This came from a day filled with inspiration and joy, and the hope that comes during this time of Easter and spring.
My day began at Silver Lake United Methodist Church where resurrection joy was celebrated as the story of the women coming to the empty tomb was read and discussed by Pastor Mary. Why do we, as the women did, look for the living among the dead? This does not only apply to Jesus after his resurrection, but it is a strong metaphor for when we are brought low we sometimes look for our answers in the past, which is gone, instead of in the present moment or the future hope. We need to look for living in the living moment!
Easter always brings me renewal through music and this year was no exception. From the first hymn of "Christ the Lord is Risen Today" to the choir anthem to joining the choir at the end of the service to sing the "Hallelujah Chorus" I am swept away by joy and hope of the day. Being surrounded by people who also feel this renewal adds to the inspiration of the moment and the reminder that we can start again each day. That applies to our faith life, our family life, our work life. The past cannot be changed but resurrection reminds us that we can try again, we can be risen to new awareness, we can keep working toward life abundant.
Whew! And that was just the beginning of the day. After church I went home to help my sister Susan get the meal ready for the family, as I had volunteered us to host! There would be 16 people, including my friend Maralee who is part of the family as well, and we had been working for days to get everything put together. My special job was making popovers! A little surprise to the menu of lamb, ham, shrimp, potatoes, all kinds of veggies, etc. If cooking and making a meal special shows love, then Susan and I showed all we had!
I am always inspired when I am around my nieces and nephews and grand-nieces, and Easter was no exception. They live such different lives, and to hear about what they are doing and who they are becoming reminds me that we are constantly renewed over our lifetime. Nothing is static - and what fun would it be if it was? The grand-nieces had fun with the egg hunt and exploring the house, while the adults came together to talk, to laugh, to remember shared experiences, and to make new ones.
Being a single person with no children is sometimes over whelming to me, but not on Easter. The sun was out, I was surrounded by the people who matter most to me, and I felt uplifted, inspired and renewed! The love that surrounded me was that of family, friends and faith, and I feel that again I am lifted from darkness into all of the hope and possibilities of the light. Resurrection indeed!
Even at this time of joy and hope we paused in church and at home to grieve with the people of Sri Lanka who had their world torn apart by the bombings across the country during the Easter celebration. For them resurrection may be harder to find right away, but hope is a little spark that will grow as they grieve, their faith with them. So, even Easter can be a time of loss and distress.
But for me this Easter has been filled with renewal and resurrection. I see the plants pushing through to seek the sunlight, and I have hope. I HAVE HOPE!
My day began at Silver Lake United Methodist Church where resurrection joy was celebrated as the story of the women coming to the empty tomb was read and discussed by Pastor Mary. Why do we, as the women did, look for the living among the dead? This does not only apply to Jesus after his resurrection, but it is a strong metaphor for when we are brought low we sometimes look for our answers in the past, which is gone, instead of in the present moment or the future hope. We need to look for living in the living moment!
Easter always brings me renewal through music and this year was no exception. From the first hymn of "Christ the Lord is Risen Today" to the choir anthem to joining the choir at the end of the service to sing the "Hallelujah Chorus" I am swept away by joy and hope of the day. Being surrounded by people who also feel this renewal adds to the inspiration of the moment and the reminder that we can start again each day. That applies to our faith life, our family life, our work life. The past cannot be changed but resurrection reminds us that we can try again, we can be risen to new awareness, we can keep working toward life abundant.
Whew! And that was just the beginning of the day. After church I went home to help my sister Susan get the meal ready for the family, as I had volunteered us to host! There would be 16 people, including my friend Maralee who is part of the family as well, and we had been working for days to get everything put together. My special job was making popovers! A little surprise to the menu of lamb, ham, shrimp, potatoes, all kinds of veggies, etc. If cooking and making a meal special shows love, then Susan and I showed all we had!
I am always inspired when I am around my nieces and nephews and grand-nieces, and Easter was no exception. They live such different lives, and to hear about what they are doing and who they are becoming reminds me that we are constantly renewed over our lifetime. Nothing is static - and what fun would it be if it was? The grand-nieces had fun with the egg hunt and exploring the house, while the adults came together to talk, to laugh, to remember shared experiences, and to make new ones.
Being a single person with no children is sometimes over whelming to me, but not on Easter. The sun was out, I was surrounded by the people who matter most to me, and I felt uplifted, inspired and renewed! The love that surrounded me was that of family, friends and faith, and I feel that again I am lifted from darkness into all of the hope and possibilities of the light. Resurrection indeed!
Even at this time of joy and hope we paused in church and at home to grieve with the people of Sri Lanka who had their world torn apart by the bombings across the country during the Easter celebration. For them resurrection may be harder to find right away, but hope is a little spark that will grow as they grieve, their faith with them. So, even Easter can be a time of loss and distress.
But for me this Easter has been filled with renewal and resurrection. I see the plants pushing through to seek the sunlight, and I have hope. I HAVE HOPE!
Monday, April 15, 2019
Lessons from a Waterfall
As I make my way home, I take with me an abundance of memories, new experiences and the joy of connection with family and friends. But my greatest lessons came from the waterfalls! All through the journey water and waterfalls have been my companions, especially here in North Carolina.
My niece and I journeyed to several western NC waterfalls over my time here, and it was especially interesting to me to watch their transformation after a huge rainstorm. It reminded me of how we go through life - always beautiful but sometimes we are just a trickle when we don't have enough nourishment, and when our Hearst, souls and bodies are filled we run full and resplendent. But even waterfalls can get too much of a good thing, and the waters get angry and filled with runoff from other streams.
Isn't that like life? Here is Whitewater Falls before and after a huge rainstorm:
No matter whether the waterfall is basking in a sunny day or whether its experiencing the deluge of a rainstorm, it is still beautiful, majestic and still the waterfall. And so are we! Whether we are feeling great and experiencing the sunshine in our lives, or we are experiencing challenges, grief or even distress, we are still beautiful and still ourselves.
We need to take a lesson from the waterfalls and remember that life ebbs and flows. How things are today does not reflect how they may be tomorrow. We need to remember who we are and whose we are, whether in sunlight or in the rain and keep running, keep working toward being the wonder of who we are. Nothing can change that unless we are not nourished. Then we too become a trickle of ourselves.
So keep nourishing yourself. That's the one thing a waterfall cannot do - it has no control over the sun and the rain - but we can. Nourish your mind with new experiences, nourish your heart with love and joy, nourish your body with good food and exercise, and nourish your soul with a full and rich faith life. Then you too will be able to weather any storm and continue to flow until the sun comes out once again.
My niece and I journeyed to several western NC waterfalls over my time here, and it was especially interesting to me to watch their transformation after a huge rainstorm. It reminded me of how we go through life - always beautiful but sometimes we are just a trickle when we don't have enough nourishment, and when our Hearst, souls and bodies are filled we run full and resplendent. But even waterfalls can get too much of a good thing, and the waters get angry and filled with runoff from other streams.
Isn't that like life? Here is Whitewater Falls before and after a huge rainstorm:
No matter whether the waterfall is basking in a sunny day or whether its experiencing the deluge of a rainstorm, it is still beautiful, majestic and still the waterfall. And so are we! Whether we are feeling great and experiencing the sunshine in our lives, or we are experiencing challenges, grief or even distress, we are still beautiful and still ourselves.
We need to take a lesson from the waterfalls and remember that life ebbs and flows. How things are today does not reflect how they may be tomorrow. We need to remember who we are and whose we are, whether in sunlight or in the rain and keep running, keep working toward being the wonder of who we are. Nothing can change that unless we are not nourished. Then we too become a trickle of ourselves.
So keep nourishing yourself. That's the one thing a waterfall cannot do - it has no control over the sun and the rain - but we can. Nourish your mind with new experiences, nourish your heart with love and joy, nourish your body with good food and exercise, and nourish your soul with a full and rich faith life. Then you too will be able to weather any storm and continue to flow until the sun comes out once again.
Friday, April 12, 2019
Week 2
I meant to write blogs all this week but I was in places without Internet connection and frankly I was enjoying catching up with old friends! I am now in North Carolina visiting my niece, and soon will be heading toward home.
What a week it has been! I have visited friends from college, from the time Michael worked for an oil company, and a friend I haven't seen in 12 years from when I was trying to write my second novel! Everyone has opened their homes to me and I feel so grateful to have reconnected in person with them.
From Houston I traveled to Austin, Texas right through the heart of Bluebonnet country and it was bluebonnet season. What a sight be behold. My friend and I took a day to go out to the Lyndon Johnson Ranch NP where we saw more flowers, cattle and even bison as well as the late president's ranch. I truly am a national park GEEK! Every park and monument is so well done so people can learn and experience many different aspects of our country.
From Austin I went to Natchitoches, Louisiana! (It's pronounced Nak-a-tish). My friend has a wonderful home outside the town where she lives with two dogs and a pig named Willow. It is a peaceful place and we spent time just catching up and discussing the world. She's had a hard year but has found a church family and is coming back into her own. I felt so welcomed and cherished there. I also got to revisit Cane River Creole NP where I still might set another mystery!
Then it was on to North Carolina by way of national parks, monuments and parkways! In Louisiana I found Poverty Point (named after a plantation) that is another World Heritage Site and NP monument. Like Cahokia in Illinois, these are remains of a prehistoric settlement on the Mississippi, this time on the West Bank. It has ridges that can be seen from the air and mounds where some of the settlement was built.
I had a little trouble as I drove into Mississippi. I have a lot of memories of the years Michael and I lived in this state, and the last time I drove through was with my mom, so I found myself missing them both as I drove where we had been before. But it was a beautiful, sunny day so I made the most of it by traveling on the Natchez Trace Parkway (NP) from Jackson to Tupelo. This parkway goes along the same route as the road (called a trace) from 200 years ago from Natchez, Mississippi to Nashville, Tennessee. Along the route is information about the road, the people and the trading that was facilitated by the route. Very interesting and peaceful.
After spending the night in Huntsville, Alabama (I got to drive on some great country roads both in Mississippi and Alabama) I headed to the Great Smokey Mountains National Park. What a place! Waterfalls and rivers, mountain views and wildflowers. I came on this trip at the perfect time of the year to see wildflowers in blossom and to enjoy spring where you can still see the views before the tree leaves fill in. about inspiration. As I drove through the park I felt the water call to me, the flowers whisper, and the leaves draw me further into the mountain. It was a joyous experience.
Then it was on to see my niece. She lives on the top of a mountain not far from the park. My GPS, however, thought I needed more time on curvy, scary mountain roads, so it took me some back way up the mountain that my niece has never even heard of! Switchbacks at 10 mph with no guard rails and curves so tight I didn't think I could stay on the road. Finally made it, but I was a wreck and it takes a lot to shake me about driving. But it was worth it - my niece lives on a lovely ranch and it is great to spend time with her at her home.
The end of my journey is coming quickly, but I cannot express how wonderful this trip has been. It was what I needed when I needed it! My advice from this experience is to truly listen to your gut and heart and give yourself what you need, whether or not it scares you or doesn't seem as if it can work out. Most things are possible!
What a week it has been! I have visited friends from college, from the time Michael worked for an oil company, and a friend I haven't seen in 12 years from when I was trying to write my second novel! Everyone has opened their homes to me and I feel so grateful to have reconnected in person with them.
From Houston I traveled to Austin, Texas right through the heart of Bluebonnet country and it was bluebonnet season. What a sight be behold. My friend and I took a day to go out to the Lyndon Johnson Ranch NP where we saw more flowers, cattle and even bison as well as the late president's ranch. I truly am a national park GEEK! Every park and monument is so well done so people can learn and experience many different aspects of our country.
From Austin I went to Natchitoches, Louisiana! (It's pronounced Nak-a-tish). My friend has a wonderful home outside the town where she lives with two dogs and a pig named Willow. It is a peaceful place and we spent time just catching up and discussing the world. She's had a hard year but has found a church family and is coming back into her own. I felt so welcomed and cherished there. I also got to revisit Cane River Creole NP where I still might set another mystery!
Then it was on to North Carolina by way of national parks, monuments and parkways! In Louisiana I found Poverty Point (named after a plantation) that is another World Heritage Site and NP monument. Like Cahokia in Illinois, these are remains of a prehistoric settlement on the Mississippi, this time on the West Bank. It has ridges that can be seen from the air and mounds where some of the settlement was built.
I had a little trouble as I drove into Mississippi. I have a lot of memories of the years Michael and I lived in this state, and the last time I drove through was with my mom, so I found myself missing them both as I drove where we had been before. But it was a beautiful, sunny day so I made the most of it by traveling on the Natchez Trace Parkway (NP) from Jackson to Tupelo. This parkway goes along the same route as the road (called a trace) from 200 years ago from Natchez, Mississippi to Nashville, Tennessee. Along the route is information about the road, the people and the trading that was facilitated by the route. Very interesting and peaceful.
After spending the night in Huntsville, Alabama (I got to drive on some great country roads both in Mississippi and Alabama) I headed to the Great Smokey Mountains National Park. What a place! Waterfalls and rivers, mountain views and wildflowers. I came on this trip at the perfect time of the year to see wildflowers in blossom and to enjoy spring where you can still see the views before the tree leaves fill in. about inspiration. As I drove through the park I felt the water call to me, the flowers whisper, and the leaves draw me further into the mountain. It was a joyous experience.
Then it was on to see my niece. She lives on the top of a mountain not far from the park. My GPS, however, thought I needed more time on curvy, scary mountain roads, so it took me some back way up the mountain that my niece has never even heard of! Switchbacks at 10 mph with no guard rails and curves so tight I didn't think I could stay on the road. Finally made it, but I was a wreck and it takes a lot to shake me about driving. But it was worth it - my niece lives on a lovely ranch and it is great to spend time with her at her home.
The end of my journey is coming quickly, but I cannot express how wonderful this trip has been. It was what I needed when I needed it! My advice from this experience is to truly listen to your gut and heart and give yourself what you need, whether or not it scares you or doesn't seem as if it can work out. Most things are possible!
Friday, April 5, 2019
My First Week
I am writing this post from Houston, Texas! My first week on the road has been full of adventures and I am looking forward to what is next! Let me recap the week for you:
My sister Susan and dog Rutherford left North St. Paul last Friday morning at 600a. We drove through Iowa, a bit of Missouri, and on to Illinois just east of St. Louis. There we visited the Cahokia Mounds, what is left of the oldest city in North America! The people were of the Mississippian tribe and lived along the river. The site is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and it is wonderful. The museum gives vivid representations of life for the people who inhabited this area, and the grounds have many mounds, including Monk Mound, 100 feet tall, which you can climb the 130 steps to get to the top. What can you see? Modern St. Louis including the arch off in the distance! I would encourage anyone who can to visit this historical site or at least learn about it online.
From the mounds we drove to Memphis and arrived at 1030p. We stayed at the Guest House at Graceland which is a 900-room hotel that is marvelous! Lots of restaurants, things to do, and impeccable service. It is .2 miles from Graceland. So, I visited Elvis' home on Saturday morning. It was an experience - I wonder what Elvis would think of how they have commercialized so much of his life! The tour of the house was interesting but what is most striking is the size of the rooms - they are fairly small. Of course Graceland was built in the 1930's so it was a different time. It certainly is an explosion of textures and colors! I had my tour, so I don't need to go again.
We met up with my niece for dinner after some sightseeing and shopping, but the next big event was Sunday. Susan's friend had a garden party at her home with 400 people in attendance! It was a social event and very well done. There was a jazz band, violins on the porch above people as they entered, lots of food and flowers. It was quite an event, and I am glad I got to be present.
On Monday morning Susan flew home, and the dog and I drove from Memphis to DeLand, Florida! It was a beautiful day and Rutherford travels well, so it wasn't a hard trip. I got kind of misty-eyed going through Mississippi, and it brought back memories of living in that state with Michael. But soon we were in Alabama enjoying seeing another state! We spent most of the drive in Alabama, and when we hit Florida it started to rain. Even that wasn't too bad and we arrived at Rutherford's home.
So fun to see my nephew, niece and their 7-month old baby. She is so sweet and fun, as are her parents! I was treated to a birthday cake, a little bottle of champagne, and a card that assured me I am already old so another birthday doesn't make a difference! It was so sweet of them, and we went out to dinner as well, but most of the time was playing with the baby and catching up. They have a wonderful older home that I quite enjoyed, and I treasured my time there. It was a little hard to say goodbye to the dog, as he had been living in Minnesota for 6 months, but he is home and happy.
On my birthday I traveled to Miramar Beach where my sister and brother-in-law have a wonderful winter home. Best birthday present - I got to play tennis for the first time in a decade and the courts are right outside of their home! I played twice in two days and even though I can hardly move, it was worth it. I love tennis! Down the hill from them is the beach, white sand and beautiful, so I made sure to get in a walk along the water. We also had a birthday dinner and I feel quite spoiled! We also played games and just relaxed which was great.
Today I left Miramar Beach and headed to Houston. Almost immediately after leaving big storms rolled through and I had to stop several times to wait out the rain. That put me behind schedule, but I needed to stop at Dauphin Island. Michael and I went there with friends when we lived in Mississippi so it has fond memories, and the last time I was there was with my mother. I also started writing a story set there, so I wanted to see how it had changed in 30 years! There are lots more buildings on the island and many houses have been rebuilt because of hurricanes, so now it is a mix of old and new but still has kept its charm. On the way back to the freeway I went past Bellingrath Gardens and stopped in. It was past azalea time but still much to see including a snake in the path in front of me and one swimming in the pond! The walk was calming and the surroundings lovely.
I made one final detour after hitting Mississippi and that was to part of the Gulf Islands National Seashore. It was a quick stop to see a section of bayou but I was rewarded with seeing a small alligator sunning himself on a log next to half a dozen turtles! All within a few feet of the road. I love seeing all of nature, from flowers to alligators, as I travel.
Now I am in Houston to see friends. I can't wait to see what the next week holds. I have already drive 2800 miles!
My sister Susan and dog Rutherford left North St. Paul last Friday morning at 600a. We drove through Iowa, a bit of Missouri, and on to Illinois just east of St. Louis. There we visited the Cahokia Mounds, what is left of the oldest city in North America! The people were of the Mississippian tribe and lived along the river. The site is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and it is wonderful. The museum gives vivid representations of life for the people who inhabited this area, and the grounds have many mounds, including Monk Mound, 100 feet tall, which you can climb the 130 steps to get to the top. What can you see? Modern St. Louis including the arch off in the distance! I would encourage anyone who can to visit this historical site or at least learn about it online.
From the mounds we drove to Memphis and arrived at 1030p. We stayed at the Guest House at Graceland which is a 900-room hotel that is marvelous! Lots of restaurants, things to do, and impeccable service. It is .2 miles from Graceland. So, I visited Elvis' home on Saturday morning. It was an experience - I wonder what Elvis would think of how they have commercialized so much of his life! The tour of the house was interesting but what is most striking is the size of the rooms - they are fairly small. Of course Graceland was built in the 1930's so it was a different time. It certainly is an explosion of textures and colors! I had my tour, so I don't need to go again.
We met up with my niece for dinner after some sightseeing and shopping, but the next big event was Sunday. Susan's friend had a garden party at her home with 400 people in attendance! It was a social event and very well done. There was a jazz band, violins on the porch above people as they entered, lots of food and flowers. It was quite an event, and I am glad I got to be present.
On Monday morning Susan flew home, and the dog and I drove from Memphis to DeLand, Florida! It was a beautiful day and Rutherford travels well, so it wasn't a hard trip. I got kind of misty-eyed going through Mississippi, and it brought back memories of living in that state with Michael. But soon we were in Alabama enjoying seeing another state! We spent most of the drive in Alabama, and when we hit Florida it started to rain. Even that wasn't too bad and we arrived at Rutherford's home.
So fun to see my nephew, niece and their 7-month old baby. She is so sweet and fun, as are her parents! I was treated to a birthday cake, a little bottle of champagne, and a card that assured me I am already old so another birthday doesn't make a difference! It was so sweet of them, and we went out to dinner as well, but most of the time was playing with the baby and catching up. They have a wonderful older home that I quite enjoyed, and I treasured my time there. It was a little hard to say goodbye to the dog, as he had been living in Minnesota for 6 months, but he is home and happy.
On my birthday I traveled to Miramar Beach where my sister and brother-in-law have a wonderful winter home. Best birthday present - I got to play tennis for the first time in a decade and the courts are right outside of their home! I played twice in two days and even though I can hardly move, it was worth it. I love tennis! Down the hill from them is the beach, white sand and beautiful, so I made sure to get in a walk along the water. We also had a birthday dinner and I feel quite spoiled! We also played games and just relaxed which was great.
Today I left Miramar Beach and headed to Houston. Almost immediately after leaving big storms rolled through and I had to stop several times to wait out the rain. That put me behind schedule, but I needed to stop at Dauphin Island. Michael and I went there with friends when we lived in Mississippi so it has fond memories, and the last time I was there was with my mother. I also started writing a story set there, so I wanted to see how it had changed in 30 years! There are lots more buildings on the island and many houses have been rebuilt because of hurricanes, so now it is a mix of old and new but still has kept its charm. On the way back to the freeway I went past Bellingrath Gardens and stopped in. It was past azalea time but still much to see including a snake in the path in front of me and one swimming in the pond! The walk was calming and the surroundings lovely.
I made one final detour after hitting Mississippi and that was to part of the Gulf Islands National Seashore. It was a quick stop to see a section of bayou but I was rewarded with seeing a small alligator sunning himself on a log next to half a dozen turtles! All within a few feet of the road. I love seeing all of nature, from flowers to alligators, as I travel.
Now I am in Houston to see friends. I can't wait to see what the next week holds. I have already drive 2800 miles!
Thursday, April 4, 2019
Taking the first step, then the next, the next...
I don't know whether it's irony or something else, but when I planned out my sabbatical I was going to go around the world and learn about different ways of healing through different cultures and peoples. I started my work on this while still working and asked people what they think of when they see or hear the word "healing". The answers ranged from getting better physically, to a spiritual wholeness, to something from a computer game. I was looking forward to getting deeper into the subject.
What I hadn't anticipated was my cancer. All of a sudden my year off became about my healing - physically, mentally and spiritually. I went from a world view to a very personal view. I am in my 9th month of my sabbatical and I have made progress with my healing but I am definitely not there yet.
The hardest for me is physical well being. I am overweight and before this time off my exercise consisted of walking the dog and an occasional hike or yoga class. So, I vowed that a big part of this year would be dedicated to my physical healing. My cancer was under control except for the prevention medication which have given me bad side effects, so I am still wrangling with that, but I still needed to work on physical health in other areas.
They say the first step is the hardest and I think that is true. My first step after moving back to the Twin Cities was to contact the personal trainer I had worked with 9 years previously. It was a hard call to make because I knew I was committing myself to weight lifting regularly and I was in no shape to be seen in tight clothes. I also had become uncoordinated and making a fool of myself doing this was always on my mind.
I swallowed my pride and went to see John. Best decision I ever made! Here was someone who knew me and my health issues and also knows my capabilities so I can't get away with anything! I have been lifting weights 2-3 times a week since then, and my sister Robyn joins me on some days which makes me accountable to another person which I need to keep going. It's hard work and I am usually stiff when I get there but actually feel pretty good when I leave! Step one - check.
Step two is taking place on this trip. As I journey and see family and friends I am keenly aware of how I look and how I wish I looked. However, the next step has been to put aside this self criticism and embrace who I am right now, as I am, and not shy away from opportunities based upon my physical shape or whether I think I am in shape enough.
So far this has been tested twice. The first time was in Memphis when I accompanied my sister Susan to a big party celebrating one of her closest friends. I had picked out a dress and shoes before I left but it showed some curves I shouldn't have! Still, I dressed to look good for me, fixed my hair and both of us went with heads held high, laughing at ourselves. Turns out we were not out of place in this large group and I even got a compliment on my dress! Funny what happens when you let go and don't worry.
The second time happened here in Miramar Beach, Florida. My sister and husband live here several months of the year, and where they live is in a tennis haven. Courts all around, groups to play in, friendly people. Now, I LOVE playing tennis. It's my sport of choice and I used to be fairly good at it, but I hadn't played in over a decade. I brought my racquet and wanted to play, but I also didn't want to make a fool of myself or look terrible. My legs are not only white white in color but they have eczema from winter on them so they are not pretty.
My decision was whether to play and get exercise and hopefully enjoy the sport I love, or to pass on the chance so I didn't have to feel uncomfortable. I chose to play and although I hate how I look in the pictures taken on the court, I am so glad I played! After some initial trouble finding the ball I got into the swing (ha,ha) of the game and didn't do too badly for a first time out. I wore a sleeveless shirt so my arms showed and I wore a tennis skirt which showed my legs. But I was so comfortable and could play so it didn't matter. We played two sets of doubles today and I know I have a long way to go, but I am thrilled to be back playing and intend to continue! If I hadn't taken the opportunity I would never have known how good it feels when I play.
So as I continue on my journey I have added a new way to work on my physical well being. Of course the eating part is still an issue, but one step at a time, right?
What I hadn't anticipated was my cancer. All of a sudden my year off became about my healing - physically, mentally and spiritually. I went from a world view to a very personal view. I am in my 9th month of my sabbatical and I have made progress with my healing but I am definitely not there yet.
The hardest for me is physical well being. I am overweight and before this time off my exercise consisted of walking the dog and an occasional hike or yoga class. So, I vowed that a big part of this year would be dedicated to my physical healing. My cancer was under control except for the prevention medication which have given me bad side effects, so I am still wrangling with that, but I still needed to work on physical health in other areas.
They say the first step is the hardest and I think that is true. My first step after moving back to the Twin Cities was to contact the personal trainer I had worked with 9 years previously. It was a hard call to make because I knew I was committing myself to weight lifting regularly and I was in no shape to be seen in tight clothes. I also had become uncoordinated and making a fool of myself doing this was always on my mind.
I swallowed my pride and went to see John. Best decision I ever made! Here was someone who knew me and my health issues and also knows my capabilities so I can't get away with anything! I have been lifting weights 2-3 times a week since then, and my sister Robyn joins me on some days which makes me accountable to another person which I need to keep going. It's hard work and I am usually stiff when I get there but actually feel pretty good when I leave! Step one - check.
Step two is taking place on this trip. As I journey and see family and friends I am keenly aware of how I look and how I wish I looked. However, the next step has been to put aside this self criticism and embrace who I am right now, as I am, and not shy away from opportunities based upon my physical shape or whether I think I am in shape enough.
So far this has been tested twice. The first time was in Memphis when I accompanied my sister Susan to a big party celebrating one of her closest friends. I had picked out a dress and shoes before I left but it showed some curves I shouldn't have! Still, I dressed to look good for me, fixed my hair and both of us went with heads held high, laughing at ourselves. Turns out we were not out of place in this large group and I even got a compliment on my dress! Funny what happens when you let go and don't worry.
The second time happened here in Miramar Beach, Florida. My sister and husband live here several months of the year, and where they live is in a tennis haven. Courts all around, groups to play in, friendly people. Now, I LOVE playing tennis. It's my sport of choice and I used to be fairly good at it, but I hadn't played in over a decade. I brought my racquet and wanted to play, but I also didn't want to make a fool of myself or look terrible. My legs are not only white white in color but they have eczema from winter on them so they are not pretty.
My decision was whether to play and get exercise and hopefully enjoy the sport I love, or to pass on the chance so I didn't have to feel uncomfortable. I chose to play and although I hate how I look in the pictures taken on the court, I am so glad I played! After some initial trouble finding the ball I got into the swing (ha,ha) of the game and didn't do too badly for a first time out. I wore a sleeveless shirt so my arms showed and I wore a tennis skirt which showed my legs. But I was so comfortable and could play so it didn't matter. We played two sets of doubles today and I know I have a long way to go, but I am thrilled to be back playing and intend to continue! If I hadn't taken the opportunity I would never have known how good it feels when I play.
So as I continue on my journey I have added a new way to work on my physical well being. Of course the eating part is still an issue, but one step at a time, right?
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